Use of the word "long-term" in a recovery coaching relationship.

“Do you think you’re better than me?” This was a comment made to me when meeting a coachee for the first time. It stemmed from him asking me about myself, and the words flowed out like they normally would, “I’m an individual in long-term recovery…blah blah blah”.

It was the “long-term” that struck a nerve, him being very new in his recovery journey. And you know what, I think he’s right.

The more I have thought about this, the more I think that long-term should no longer be in my vocabulary, especially in the recovery coaching relationship. And boy have I thought about it. I’ve caught myself numerous times since then saying it in conversation as I am so used to doing, and every time when I reflected back, I came to the same conclusion. There was really no need to include that in my vocabulary. It really did not serve a purpose.

Why does it need to be said? Why had I been using that word in the first place? Is it a status thing? “I’m in LONG-TERM recovery. Not to be confused with people in short-term recovery.” Does it really confer something of significance? And if so, what? Each time I reflected back on a recent conversation where I just reflexively said long-term, I could think of no real benefit to saying it, and in a couple of cases I could see it as potentially isolating the person I was speaking to.

Are there benefits to including long-term when talking about our recovery and engaging in a coaching relationship? As of right now, for me at least, I’m thinking that there really isn’t. What are your thoughts?

Wes Arnett

Madison, Wisconsin

Originally posted in my newsletter on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/use-word-long-term-recovery-coaching-relationship-wes-arnett-h3vhe/?trackingId=fBTr0A%2FMR4KZOeD8IIDjuw%3D%3D